last one. siiiiigh

so this will be my last post from the continent i adore so much. it is really depressing to think that tomorrow, then again on saturday my plane will take off not to land on african soil again for a long time. ugh. My last days have been fabulous. Monday was sports day at school so i spent the day playing with kids, cheering for the class by class running races- those little ones run oh so cute! and having my hair styled... i have pictures... by my students. it was a great day to just hang out with the kids at upendo and to piggyback the wee ones who i adore. tuesday was my last day at school, and also closing day for the school. we hung out for a good long while, then they set the kids up in a box shape with the teachers table one one side. then they let them sit. and sit. and sit. finally each class came up and did a song. then they sat and fought. and cried. and sat. 150 kids trying to entertain themselves while sitting in rows is never a good idea. so i decided to be proactive and taught them songs... including the hokie pokie which they loved. we did it twice. i was standing surrounded by the whole school- that is what it is all about. truely. it was amazing. then we did the singing in the rain song where you dance like and idiot and that was even more fun. The teachers were amazed and how i entertained them and i used the 'if you can hear me clap once, if you can hear me touch your nose...' and got them quiet... apparently not threatening them with the stick can work....

After our dances, they each gave one more song. the most entertaining part of it was watching my favorite pre schooler roll his stomach to the beat. You have to understand this kid is like 4, mayyyyybe 5. i was dying. and so so awfully my camera battery was dead. would have been priceless. Then we had cookies and coke and then lunch, a special lunch of pilau and veggies. it was amazing. then we started the teacher speaches and then the photographer arrived. I assumed he was there to document the closing day, but he didnt take pictures until i was asked to stand and my little goodbye began. kind of embarrassing that they had a photgrapher come, but also amazing because my camera was dead. all the teachers said nice words, the school and the headmistress each gave me gifts.... kitange which they made me put on and model... the kids loved that.. haha. they sang the saddest song about not seeing eachother anymore and one day we will meet again- i bit my tounge so i wouldnt cry. then i had to give a little speech and all was said and done. it was amazing. what a wonderful school.

yesterday i went to the orphanage for hte last time with the girls. it was good, as always. very said to leave and actually i did cry. i held baby lawerence until we had to go. man that baby is too much. i just hope they are all okay. one day i will be back, i told my self as we left. its a promise.

now we are doing last minute things, i am in foul form truely. its cloudy, we had to wait over an hour for the internet bc we got skipped even though i told the lady we were still here, and people are just bothering me. but. that is ok. we are going to get last minute gifts, then to the rwanda trials one last time. tonight we will have our last dinner and then we will spend tomorrow walking around usa, washing all the clothes i am leaving behind for the family, and packing.

i cant really say how i feel, i am pushing it down into the pit of my stomach and trying not to think about it. i hate it. i really do. i will be back. soon. i cant stand it.